14 November 2010

IT'S A BIRD...IT'S A PLANE...IT'S...OH, CRAP...IT REALLY IS A BIRD!

It is common knowledge among my acquaintances that I am extremely afraid of birds and other fluttering creatures like bats, moths and crane flies. And ever since I was 10 and watched about 100 birds land inside my neighbors' chimney where they had taken up residence, it has been a nightmare of mine that one of these fearsome creatures would find its way into my chimney someday. Imagine my utter shock and disbelief when this not only happened, but it was discovered in the middle of our playdate with Marilee and her girls Friday afternoon.

We had all gone downstairs (minus Lina who was napping in Toran's room) to give Marilee a tour of the basement. As we were heading into the laundry room, I noticed that Rory and Toran had opened the glass door to our fireplace. I decided to finish the tour before going back into the family room to close it...I figured there was minimal damage that could happen at the time as there was no fire burning in it. As I approached the fireplace a few minutes later, I couldn't help but notice how the light made it appear that there was a bat-like creature hanging from the outside of the wire curtain that was now completely exposed due to the open glass door. And the closer I got to it, the more bat-like it appeared to the point that heart-stopping fear prohibited me from taking another step.

Not wanting to appear ridiculous in front of my cousin, I asked her to come over and take a look...sure that it was just the light playing tricks on me. Unfortunately, her eyes told her the same thing that mine were desperate not to believe. "It looks like a bat," she said. And then we evacuated the basement. You may wonder why I didn't just close the glass door and trap it in the fireplace again. The answer is simple: I have been tricked by a bat before...appearing to be harmless and unable to fly when it was just luring me in waiting for the chance to open its horrible little mouth and utter its horrible screeching noise and swoop in for the kill...it's true...just ask Michelle. So I could not give this bat a chance to do the same thing.

I had just decided to call my awesome, faithful brother-in-law Erik and ask him to come take care of my bat problem when Kevin surprised me with an unexpected visit. So we went down to face whatever traps the ferocious bat had planned for us. As it turns out, my husband is a little nervous around bats also...but after much deliberation and pep talks, he managed to shut the glass door. Now for the best part of the story...closer inspection of the creature through the glass door revealed that it was not a bat at all but a dead bird who died stuck to the wire curtain thrashing about and had been there for quite a while as Kevin described it's carcass as "fried" and "mummified". Lovely. The good news is Kevin managed to detach it and dispose of it and there aren't any signs that there are more birds in the chimney.

3 comments:

Michelle said...

OMG! That's AWFUL! I can't imagine what's worse: that it might have been a bat, or that you've had a dead bird hanging around.

Amy said...

That is awful! I am always freaked out about birds in the chimney because we do not have a grate in front! Reminds me of when I thought a bird was trapped in my air vent but it was just a cracked window making a chirping sound. :)

Karen said...

What's up with you and Marilee and crazy animal stories??? First the moose now a dead bird/bat creature. Seriously, I share your heart stopping fear as you approached the fireplace.