MY SWEET VALENTINES

As a young single woman, I dreamed of the day I would have a Valentine...someone to send me lavish bouquets of flowers at work so everyone there would know that I am loved...someone to surprise me with expensive jewelry that I can show off so again everyone would know that I am loved. But that was Hollywood's version of Valentines Day...not reality. I learned that quickly when I fell in love with a man who doesn't believe in buying flowers or jewelry for me...he thinks it's a waste of money.

So I headed to work yesterday knowing not to expect anything until I got home. A few hours into my shift I went to the break room to make coffee. When I came back to the front office, Misty told me my boys were there. I was worried that something was wrong because Toran and Rory have been very sick and I even had Toran in the ER over the weekend for breathing problems. I rushed to the waiting room only to see the most precious Valentines waiting for me.

There in the doorway stood Rory with a single rose in his hand and not to be outdone, Toran was right behind him with one gourmet chocolate clutched in his hand. They came through the door, handed me my treats and kissed and hugged me. I couldn't have asked for a more special Valentine or a bigger surprise! Who needs lavish bouquets and expensive jewelry?! I've got my boys!!!

IT'S A BIRD...IT'S A PLANE...IT'S...OH, CRAP...IT REALLY IS A BIRD!

It is common knowledge among my acquaintances that I am extremely afraid of birds and other fluttering creatures like bats, moths and crane flies. And ever since I was 10 and watched about 100 birds land inside my neighbors' chimney where they had taken up residence, it has been a nightmare of mine that one of these fearsome creatures would find its way into my chimney someday. Imagine my utter shock and disbelief when this not only happened, but it was discovered in the middle of our playdate with Marilee and her girls Friday afternoon.

We had all gone downstairs (minus Lina who was napping in Toran's room) to give Marilee a tour of the basement. As we were heading into the laundry room, I noticed that Rory and Toran had opened the glass door to our fireplace. I decided to finish the tour before going back into the family room to close it...I figured there was minimal damage that could happen at the time as there was no fire burning in it. As I approached the fireplace a few minutes later, I couldn't help but notice how the light made it appear that there was a bat-like creature hanging from the outside of the wire curtain that was now completely exposed due to the open glass door. And the closer I got to it, the more bat-like it appeared to the point that heart-stopping fear prohibited me from taking another step.

Not wanting to appear ridiculous in front of my cousin, I asked her to come over and take a look...sure that it was just the light playing tricks on me. Unfortunately, her eyes told her the same thing that mine were desperate not to believe. "It looks like a bat," she said. And then we evacuated the basement. You may wonder why I didn't just close the glass door and trap it in the fireplace again. The answer is simple: I have been tricked by a bat before...appearing to be harmless and unable to fly when it was just luring me in waiting for the chance to open its horrible little mouth and utter its horrible screeching noise and swoop in for the kill...it's true...just ask Michelle. So I could not give this bat a chance to do the same thing.

I had just decided to call my awesome, faithful brother-in-law Erik and ask him to come take care of my bat problem when Kevin surprised me with an unexpected visit. So we went down to face whatever traps the ferocious bat had planned for us. As it turns out, my husband is a little nervous around bats also...but after much deliberation and pep talks, he managed to shut the glass door. Now for the best part of the story...closer inspection of the creature through the glass door revealed that it was not a bat at all but a dead bird who died stuck to the wire curtain thrashing about and had been there for quite a while as Kevin described it's carcass as "fried" and "mummified". Lovely. The good news is Kevin managed to detach it and dispose of it and there aren't any signs that there are more birds in the chimney.

STRONG AND MIGHTY

I have a tendency to spend part of everyday reviewing the mistakes I made that day as a mother. There are times I lose my patience, raise my voice, and occasionally lock myself in the bathroom for a few moments of reprieve. And I find myself wincing as I look back at the mistakes of the day wondering which ones I'll hear about during a counseling session 30 years from now.

Today, while I was busy wiping spaghetti sauce out of Toran's hair and nose and neck roll (you get the picture), Rory was busy playing with his trains. And after a minute I began to notice a little tune coming from his direction. So I stepped over to him and I heard, "My God is so BIG! So STRONG and so MIGHTY, there's nothing my God cannot do! TOOT TOOT!"

This he repeated over and over again for the better part of 10 minutes even after he stopped playing with trains and starting running in circles around the house. And I found myself humming the song as I changed the kids' diapers and put them down for their naps. And that sweet refrain continues to play as both boys are taking naps at the same time and I actually have a few minutes to myself. And tonight when I review the events of the day, I will remember my precious two year old singing his version of the song I taught him, and I'll remind myself that I must be doing something right and that my God is indeed strong and mighty!

ROLL OVER

Do you remember that children's rhyme your mom used to tell you that went something like, "there were 4 in the bed and the little one said 'roll over'"? Well, little did I know that verse was a glimpse into my future. I know all the authorities on child raising say NEVER to bring your kids into bed with you...but I confess, my husband and I have done it. It wasn't so bad when it was just one son...but when we added our 2nd baby to the family, we knew it would be a little cramped. Luckily our firstborn magically stopped waking up in the middle of the night wanting to sleep with us. So we indulged our bad habit and let the baby sleep in our bed as that seems to be the only way any of us get any sleep. Well...its been about 2 weeks now since Rory got sick and started waking up in the night and, you guessed it, coming to sleep with us. And of course Toran still sleeps with us because we've never made him sleep on his own. I am here to tell you it is extremely difficult for 2 adults, 1 toddler and 1 big baby to sleep comfortably on a queen mattress. But thanks be to God, last night both our babies slept in their own beds! I could hardly believe it when I put Toran in his crib and he kept sleeping instead of waking up screaming! Oh the bliss of a good night's sleep...until 5 am when Rory woke up...and that woke Toran up...and we spent the next two hours trying to get them to sleep again in our bed. Finally Kevin and I had to get up and get ready for the day...I carefully put Toran to sleep in his bed and snuck out of the room. An hour later and they are still asleep...Toran in his bed and Rory in mine! So, there were 4 in the bed and the little one said, 'roll over'...and now he has that queen sized bed all to himself! :)

JUST ME AND MY MOM...by Rory George

We had a fun adventure planned for Friday...just me and my mom. First we took Toran to Grandma and Grandpa Coghill's - I didn't mind leaving him there to go home with Mommy and take a nap! After my nap we were going to go see a movie - I was so excited about this that I only slept for 15 minutes! My mom was surprised to see me up so soon.So we took an unplanned trip to the grocery store...just me and my mom. It had started to rain, so I got to wear my new hand-me-down raincoat! The grocery store was very crowded and hot, so I took off my shoes and hat and threw them out of the cart while we were walking - don't worry, my mom picked them up for me. She must have been hot too because she took off her coat while we were paying for groceries and carried me to the car in the rain without it.

After we dropped the groceries off at home, we headed to the movies...just me and my mom. I decided to surprise Mommy by finishing my nap in the car - it was such a good nap that my mom couldn't wake me up when we got to the theater. So she decided to get lunch instead. Since I was still sleeping, Mommy went through the drive-thru at Taco Bell. I woke up as she was paying for her order and calmly asked where my food was.
We parked at a nearby parking lot to eat...just me and my mom. Mommy gave me crackers, cheese and juice and then opened her bag to eat her burrito - the nice people at Taco Bell had given her 3 tacos instead. She must have been thirsty because she kept drinking her pop after every bite and fanning her mouth with her hand - just like when she ate David's jalopeno poppers! I guess she wasn't very hungry because she only ate one of them.

After that we decided to go to Cold Stone...just me and my mom. Mommy said that ice cream makes everything better. I got to have my own dish of cotton candy ice cream with gummi bears in it. I gave my mom all the gummi bears - she didn't seem to mind that I dug them out of the ice cream with my dirty fingers and shoved them into her mouth one after the other!

We decided to go to Target to buy a treat...just me and my mom. Mommy said we needed something to make up for the day. I didn't know what she meant because I was having lots of fun. Before we had a chance to choose something, Grandma Nina called and said that Toran needed us to come get him. He must have been sad that he was missing all the fun. We grabbed a copy of Finding Nemo and headed out the door - after paying, of course.

On the way we talked about what a great adventure we had! We made lots of special memories today...just me and my mom.

WHAT'S IN A NAME?

My husband and I recently welcomed a new baby into our family. Choosing a name for both of our sons turned out to be a long and sometimes painful process. I wasn't sure what to tell him when he announced to me that his favorite baby name was George when we were expecting our first child. After finally agreeing to the name Rory George, imagine my shock and surprise when he told me he wanted to name our 2nd son George Rory. I am still not convinced that he was joking.

One name that we were considering naming both our boys was BRICK. At first I mentioned it to Kevin as a joke...but it started to grow on us. We could imagine our son, a stellar athelete of course, racing toward the soccer goal while the crowds chanted, "Brick, Brick, Brick!" I even convinced myself that I would be naming the baby after my dad Rick (which was another name Kevin vetoed). But in the end we listened to the pleas of our families and our own good sense and named our 2nd son Toran James.

Flipping through the channels the other night, I caught the opening of In The Middle and heard the narrarator introduce one of the sons as Brick! I could hardly believe it! It was as if someone had snatched the name right out from underneath us (kind of like Asher, but that's another story).

For a few brief moments I almost regretted not choosing that name. But then I remembered that my two favorite boys' names are Rory and Toran...and we don't have room to store all the bricks our son would have received from his Aunt Amy! :)

THE HOUSE ON LOIS LANE

Today is the last day that Kevin, Rory and I will call the house on Lois Lane "home". We are so excited about the new house we're moving to, but as I sit looking around our empty home, I'm struck with so many memories...and I find I'm a little sad.

There is so much about this house that I love: it's where we shared our first kiss; where we planted the maple tree that's grown taller than both of us now; where we brought our newborn son home to. We've enjoyed Christmases, birthdays and nothing special about them days. We've argued. We've laughed. We've changed. We've learned how to be a husband and a wife, a father and a mother. We've crammed a lot of life into the walls of this house.

And we'll do all this and more in our new home. We'll raise our children, figure out how to survive in a kitchen with no drawers, and continue to live everyday to its fullest. We will make new memories and cherish the old ones. And we'll always have a special place in our hearts for the house on Lois Lane.

MIDNIGHT - MOM'S BEST FRIEND

You can probably guess by the title what time I'm writing this blog. It's midnight again. I know I should be sleeping right now, resting up for the day ahead of me, but I'm powerless against midnight's charm. Midnight has become my solace from the noise and craziness of each day. My husband's asleep and I can finally turn his sports show off. My son is asleep and I no longer have to chase him through the house trying to keep him from serious harm. A peace settles over our home and over my heart. I can think again. I can get a load of laundry done. In one hour I can accomplish projects that would take me an entire day to finish. I can read blogs and sometimes write them. Answer that e-mail. Balance my checkbook. Pay the bills. Read a book. It's a magical hour. I tell myself I'm crazy for staying up so late...I have a baby to take care of...I should go to bed when he does. But I just can't do it. I can hear midnight calling to me with promises of freedom and solitude and I give in again. My step-dad once asked me what I was doing up so late when I sent him an e-mail after midnight. The answer? Whatever I want! Midnight is my new best friend!

JUST ME AND MY...NIECE AND NEPHEW!

David and Leah were the first kids born to the next generation of our family. Both kids were born while I was still in high school...and after Michelle and Erik moved back to Washington, I adopted both of them as my buddies and sidekicks. I used to take David to youth group with me...the three of us have had countless lunches at McDonalds...bowling trips...movies...over-nighters. Some of my best memories have been spent with them.

And then came Rory...suddenly it became difficult to take David and Leah to the movies...or an impromptu lunch...and for a while, over-nighters were non-existent. Until tonight. I had the pleasure of taking David and Leah to game night at my friends' house. We've moved away from our usual Cranium adventures and have joined the multitudes rocking out to "Rock Band". I knew that David and Leah had been wanting to play the game, so I asked them if they wanted to come along.

The evening started out with pizza, Dr Pepper, Cheddar and Sour Cream potato chips and OF COURSE peanut butter M&M's...and ended with another terrific memory. We all rocked out with our wicked guitar moves, drum playing and even some almost on key singing (okay I was the only one who braved the dreaded microphone). Then when it was late and I should have been getting the kids home, we all sat down for a couple rounds of Apples to Apples. It was a great night. The kids had a blast...I had a blast...and we even coined a new phrase: "French flies?!" Now we're back at my house enjoying another over-nighter...tucked in...looking forward to a lazy morning and the "incredible" breakfast Kevin promised us. What a good night!

THE SWEETEST THING

I woke up this morning to baby kisses and hugs and giggles because according to my husband "Rory wanted to see Mommy". I tickled him and kissed him and indulged in the perfection of the moment knowing that those moments are precious and pass by all too quickly. My son is 8 months old and if you asked me I'd swear I gave birth to him last week. Already I feel that my time with him is going by too fast.

So life recently gave me a reason to appreciate every instance of his life. Last week I was diagnosed with a condition called Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. There are many things that I do not know or understand about my diagnosis, but what is very clear to me is that without treatment this disease makes me infertile. And even though there is a good chance the treatment will enable me to have more children, there is a chance that it won't. That Rory will be my only child.

I always imagined I would be the mother of at least two children if not more, even though my husband would be perfectly happy with just one! :) But...I've also always wondered why Kevin and I were blessed with such an amazing son. Rory started sleeping through the night when he was a week old. He would only cry if he was hungry or tired. He's a happy baby...always quick to smile and giggle. A true joy to have around. At times it seemed he was too good to be true.

So now I cannot help but wonder if God gave us such a sweet baby knowing that this disease was in my future. That God took all the best parts of Kevin and I and he put them together in one beautiful boy who has his Mommy's nose and his Daddy's eyes...his Mommy's love for music and his Daddy's athletic ability...his Mommy's sense of humor and his Daddy's subtle charm. I look at Rory and know without a doubt that he is my greatest accomplishment, the best part of everyday and the sweetest thing in my life.

GOLD STARS

I don't know what it is about a gold star that spurs me on to good works, but that's all I need to want to accomplish greatness. I think my current quest for the elusive gold star began in high school in Mr. Cleaves' English class. Mr. Cleaves would give gold stars to any student who came up with a particularly brilliant response in class. These gold stars were not given out very often and were highly sought after. It took me two years, but at the end of my senior year, I received the gold star. I can't for the life of me remember what brilliant observation I made, but I remember the sense of satisfaction I felt when he handed that star to me. Come to think of it, I may still have it stuck to an old paper in my special box.

As an adult, there aren't that many opportunities for gold star rewards. Gold stars tend to be reserved for Sunday School and chores lists. But the other day I was timidly sharing a thought I had about a project at work and viola! It was such a brilliant thought that I was given the "bright idea award". Certainly on the same level as a gold star. I was elated that my idea was received with such enthusiasm. The idea became protocol and the protocol became a memo that got passed out to all my co-workers sporting my "bright idea". Today one of my co-workers asked me what prize I got as my "bright idea award" ... no prize ... just the cartoon of a lightbulb with a smiley face next to my name on a memo ... what more do I need?! For some reason, she was not impressed.

I guess gold stars do not excite everyone. For me, the gold star is still elusive and something to strive for. As I entered my current weight today on Weight Watchers.com and reached my first 5 pound goal, I was rewarded with a bright red cyber star on my progress chart. It may not be gold, but it's just as good! :)

OUR SPORT

Those of you who know my husband know that he is a competitor by nature. He can turn ordinary, mundane tasks like walking back to my mom's house after the parade into a competition. We've made bets on everything from whether or not he could find a Kenny Rogers baseball card in 20 seconds to how successful it will be to grow corn in our backyard garden (the jury's still out on that one).

Kevin is an athelete...and I try to be one. Since we started dating, we've played many sports and games together that almost always end up in disaster. The problem is: he's good at everything and almost always wins and I am a VERY poor loser. Our relationship nearly ended over a bad round of golf...and playing any card game with him makes me scream. So you'll understand my hesitation when he asked me to play tennis with him.

I'm not a tennis player...I've never understood how to keep score. I cannot serve the ball overhand or keep the ball in the court. So it was with great reluctance that I went with him to the tennis court today. He said he wasn't very good and he just wanted to hit the ball back and forth...he was right! For the first time we met on an even playing field...we spent 45 minutes running and laughing and cheering each other on...and we had the best time ever! No winner. No loser. No tantrums! :) Just Kevin and I enjoying some time together. We completely sucked, but other than that, tennis is definitely our sport!

Hi Ho! Hi Ho! It's Off To Seaside We Go!

It's hard to believe that another year has gone by and we're heading off to Seaside once again. I know that some people think we're crazy for loading up 2 vehicles, 5 kids, 4 high maintenance women and driving more than 5 hrs to sit on a beach. But it's more than tradition now...it is the glue that holds us together. And every year that goes by brings new challenges and sweet memories.

Some of my favorite Seaside moments: Convincing my sisters to eat at Norma's the first night we were there and loving it so much, we eat there every year! The "don't worry about your diet" pass that we use while indulging in our favorite snacks...which contributed to the year my jeans stopped fitting half-way through the weekend! (whoops). Buying salt-water taffy from the Candyman. Watching Amy and the kids enjoy the Tilt-A-Whirl. Being the only brave souls to stay on the beach during one particularly nasty rain storm...and the lifeguards driving by and waving to us...probably not because we're super hot women...but because we looked hilarious wrapped up in beach towels still reading our books determined to enjoy every moment of beach time we could.

Going from being the unmarried Aunt to the engaged Aunt to the just married and pregnant Aunt to the bringing my sweet baby boy for the first time Aunt! We've learned important lessons from each trip: Amy is not allowed to swim in the deep end. Jack will fall down when a wave hits him. Always bring loose pants. Buy your water when you get there. Some restaurants are not baby friendly. Take the third Kelso exit...or was it the second?! Be thankful for every minute we have together! We leave tomorrow for another great adventure...ready or not, Seaside here we come!!!

SUPERDAD

I've been a mom for three months now and I feel like I've gotten into my groove. But this morning I hit a speed bump...I woke up with a sore throat and stuffed nose. I told myself it would go away, but by the time we got back from church, I could tell I was in for it. As Kevin was fixing breakfast for us before he had to go to work for the day, I asked him a question: "Who takes care of the Mommy when she's sick?" He didn't have an answer for me, but I was pretty sure the answer was nobody...the Mommy just has to suck it up. So I did.

I went to work today to get some stuff done. Then I took Rory to the Boys and Girls Club and got dinner for myself and Kevin. Rory and I got home at 6:30 and I fed him and changed him and played with him all the while ignoring the sinus headache and congestion that was trying to take over! Then my husband came home...and transformed into "Superdad" (his words, not mine). He completely took over caring for Rory so I could take care of myself...he even did Rory's bathtime by himself and let me rest and drink some tea! It was awesome! So Kevin did answer my question from this morning...as long as the Mommy has an amazing husband to depend on, the only thing she has to suck up is snot! :)

WISHFUL THINKING

I'm a complainer by nature. I try not to be, but genetics dictate that I find something wrong with everything. This fact makes me perfect for the position I hold at work (finding mistakes other people have made and fixing them)...but I also have a low tolerance for stupidity. So when I have to correct the same mistake made by the same person for the tenth time, I hate my job.

Last night I went with my family to my niece's choir concert. I loved it. I had so much fun listening to the children singing...and I found myself regretting that I never became a music teacher. I love to teach music to children! I watched the faces of the choir teachers and they looked like they love what they do...even when one of the kids puked in the middle of a song! :)

Later that night as I was trying to fall asleep, I was dreaming of how great it would be to quit my job, go back to school, and eventually be one of the music teachers in Arlington. Then reality hit. If I were a teacher, I would have to leave my son everyday and go to work. Whereas, the job I have now gives me the flexibility of working from home. And it occurred to me that no matter how tedious my job may be, I have to be thankful for the fact that I can support my family AND stay home with my son. Not to mention the satisfaction I have of knowing I excel at what I do since I am such an accomplished fault finder. :)

30 CAN WAIT

I am the baby of my family. 28 years old, and I'm still considered the baby. Adding to my baby complex is the fact that I married a man 13 years my senior. So for the past several years, I've been longing for the glorious day when I would turn 30. Certainly, I won't be considered a baby once I become a thirty-something.

My desire to be older is what caused me to leap for joy when I recently noticed my first strands of gray hair. I walked through my daily routine wearing my gray hair with pride and showing it to anyone who would look...gray hair being a sign of age and wisdom.

This attitude toward my gray hair continued for about a month until they became unruly. The gray strands would not do what they were told. No matter how much I brushed them, moussed them, sprayed them and cursed them, they stood straight up! Eventually I had to pluck my gray hair for vanity's sake. It was a sad day for me to see this link to maturity destroyed.

But then I started to think about what it means to be 28. To be the twenty-something trophy wife in a room full of forty-somethings. It's freaking fantastic! Why would I want to rush the inevitable and hope for old age to come sooner? Why go quietly into the night? I won't! I will rejoice in my youthfulness and encourage the baby comments I used to dread! I will pluck and color my hair to hide any sign of advancing age and hold on to 28 as long as I can! I will delight in today's miracles and forget about tomorrow's troubles...30 can wait!

"So go away cobwebs, dust go to sleep. I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep."

PAIN TRUMPS FEAR

I should begin my first blog by saying, "I hate to be wrong." Most people would agree with that statement, but I hate to be wrong to an extreme. I will go to any length to prove how right I am...even if it turns out I prove myself to be wrong. At least I'll be right about how wrong I am.

That said, I recently had a baby. A beautiful, perfect baby boy. A baby boy who is the source of exceptional joy and contentment...and a whole lotta pain.

My journey to motherhood began 10 months ago with a plastic stick covered in pee...not the most dignified beginning, but my pee soaked bathroom was immediately forgotten when that wonderful stick read "pregnant". I was overjoyed. That which I had hoped for and dreamed of for so long was finally coming true. I was going to have a baby!

It took about a week for the realization of that statement to hit home. What had I gotten myself into?! I was going to have a baby?! Pregnancy involves puking and blood draws and people becoming way too familiar with my midsection and all this leads to a 14cm head pushing through a 10cm opening!! What if I couldn't hack it? What if I failed? What if ...?

Adding to my fear of the unknown was my overwhelming fear of needles. I hate needles. I cringe at the thought of a blood draw or a shot. I close my eyes when t.v. shows have junkies shooting up. And the greatest source of pain relief during labor involves somebody sticking a freaking needle into my spine! Right! How could I ever agree to an epidural? How could I get through labor without one?

Since I hate to be wrong, I never said I WOULDN'T get an epidural, I just said I would wait to make my decision until I felt the pain of labor. (But I was pretty sure I could handle the pain without it). Fast forward nine months. I've been in labor all day. The pain has increased to what I told the nurse was a nine on a scale to ten. No big deal...I'm okay...just give me some pain killer in my IV please. Perfect.

7:30 am. Big problem. Pain so intense I will certainly die from it is tearing through my body. Can't breathe. Can't think. Nurse comes to check on me. First word from my mouth: epidural. That's right: my labor pain trumped my fear of needles! At that point, I would have been happy if they had stuck 100 needles up and down my back if they would only make the pain go away.

The doctor came to administer the epidural and 30 minutes later I was in paradise! I managed to give birth without screaming obscenities at my husband like you see in every movie involving childbirth. The birth of my son was not a pain-free experience, but after the epidural, it became a beautiful one. A life changing experience that will forever be one of my favorite moments.

I never thought I'd get an epidural, but thankfully I never said I wouldn't.

After all, I hate to be wrong.